Taxing the wealthy a little more isn't going to hurt them.

Restoring the tax rate on the wealthy to the same rates as the 1950's and 60's (when the biggest expansion in productivity and middle-class status seen in US history occurred) won't keep them from having super-yachts and twelve houses. Hell, it might even double the size of the US economy AGAIN. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the Internet.

This October is the most unique in 823yrs

This October is unique because it is the first time in 823yrs where there are 5 each of Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the Internet.

Cheney's dwarf death squad

Dick Cheney had a secret roving dwarf death squad hired to take out Cheney's rival supervillians. To this end he created swine flu and infected Mexicans since they are often used as cheap labor by supervillian subcontractors. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the Internet.

Happiness

Satisfaction and happiness are in direct proportion to how much shit you've gone through prior to achieving such. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the internet

Moon pies and RC Cola

Moon pies and RC Cola are the gateway to Enlightenment, or at the very least a good way to get an orgy off the ground. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the Internet.

Jelly Doughnuts

John F. Kennedy was, in fact, a jelly doughnut. Don't believe me? Go watch the Zapruder film again; tell me that wasn't raspberry filling. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the Internet.

Truthiness

Steven Colbert did not invent truthiness, he discovered it in the past through the power of the internet via this blog. This is a universal, objective moral truth, so saith the Internet.